Oh ‘Nuts’ … I’ve Become That Person

Oh ‘Nuts’ … I’ve become that person who causes cooks and chefs to cringe … “Is there gluten in that dish?” “Sorry no dairy for me I’m lactose intolerant.” “Oh I’m a vegan … that means I don’t eat anything that had a mother and I’m pretty sure this thing on the plate had one.” “Hmmm as a vegetarian I can’t eat that.” “Ah, are there nuts in this dessert?” “Well I can’t eat that. I’m on the paleo diet (watch out for the flatulence and bad breath everyone).” “Can I please see the pan it was cooked in and a sample of the oil? I react to shell fish caught in the Atlantic on a Wednesday.”

Fortunately, to date, I had only watched from the sidelines as I have no allergies, very few dislikes and have been trained to dutifully eat what is offered. And I typically do that with pleasure. Ok, I’m not a fan of either curry or cilantro. Even though I am not the one toiling over the food prep in our own kitchen, I sense the frustration all around me and can so often see it in the eyes of many waiters as their thought bubble screeches “Oh no. Here’s another one.”

However, I sadly now sit having to reluctantly join the ranks of the realm of selective diners. And my personal chef, Joe’s not happy. And I’m miserable even though I know there are many far worse off than I in the area of dietary restrictions.

In a ‘nutshell’ (poor choice of words as you will soon discover) I have been challenged with a skin ailment for over a year. After numerous doctor and dermatologist visits, and with way too many procedures performed, I have currently put my trust in a naturopath. Upon consultation, she suggested I have a blood test taken to determine my food intolerances.

Guess what? All of my foods of choice made the list. I am now faced with the challenge to be creative as each of my favourite ‘go-to’ snacks and meal choices pulsate in red on the printed report. Included are nuts (my account @ David Roberts will soon reveal a significant decline in all crunch related purchases), dairy and all things gluten-fied. Each highlighted food is to be eliminated from my diet for the next 3 months in an effort to solve the mystery of my scratchy, spotted and sun damaged skin.

Geez, and I thought giving up my favourite treat for the 40 day lenten season was tough.

So if I appear cranky and carb starved the next time I see you please just give me a hug and then pass the popcorn. Thankfully it remains unaffected by this exercise.

PS if any of you have suggestions for a breakfast that fits my newly embraced consumption options, kindly share … I have to provide Joe with a new meal plan ~!!~



  1. The Moodivator Diet!
    Licorish, for breakfast, rapini for lunch, mashed potatoes and triple gin and tonic for supper.
    The 3 months will go by faster. Guaranteed!

  2. Call me Carol – we have been nut free, gluten free and dairy free. It was really challenging in the 90’s but today there are many more options, and they even taste pretty good. Anne

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